Liminal

I drew this nearly a year ago. It’s still the best thing I’ve drawn. It was part of a period of months where I just drew every now and then. Drawing in doubt, in worry, in pleasure, dread, joy. Drawing in shock that I was even doing it, having told myself when I was eleven that I couldn’t draw and shouldn’t try. Drawing with the memory in mind of the sad smile of the art teacher that day when she saw my attempts to draw a tree from real life when I didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t want to ask for help.

Anyway. I was on a plane from Ibiza to London, reading a copy of the New Statesman. There was a beautiful photograph showing a person walking along a shadowing road in the dusk. It was so arresting. Something in me made me pick up my iPad stylus and start my own version. By the time the plane landed, it was done.

There’s lots I could now change, things where I wonder why I made a particular decision. But let it stand.

Aknaten, Deus Ex and Serious Sam

(Note: I’ve been thinking for a while about blogging more. Especially having worked out it’s just over three years since my first and only post! I’m now writing elsewhere this year, so it’s not for lack of wanting to write. I just keep thinking ‘I could write x or y’ and then having the fear it won’t be long enough, good enough, detailed enough. Solution: just write something and press ‘publish’ whatever the hell it is.)

So. I went to see Aknaten, an opera, at the English National Opera in London last month with my friend Dan. ‘Aknaten’ or ‘Akenaten’ (I use them interchangeably because I can) was an Egyptian pharoah in the 1300s BC and it’s about his story (more on that later). ‘Opera’ is a loose term for the hynoptic, religious, sometimes absurd spectacle that we watched, which either made me lose track of time entirely or had me watching my watch in slight frustration at times.

Also, how it connects to Deus Ex: Human Revolution and Serious Sam (ish).

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Thoughts on Half-Life: Alyx and the narrative future of Half-Life

This was something I wrote on sabbatical in April 2020 about Half Life: Alyx, which I’d just played and loved, because I wanted to try writing something long-form about a game (or anything non-work-related). More importantly I wanted to think about some narrative and design decisions Valve made. I didn’t and still don’t know what I’m doing. It’s probably shit and wrong. But everyone has to start somewhere. Spoilers throughout, obviously.

Tl;dr of wot I think:

Alyx Vance is a stronger and more interesting character than Gordon Freeman given both her talkiness but also her character development. HL3 should have a talking Gordon Freeman (but won’t).
Gordon Freeman isn’t going through a hero’s journey (he can’t) but Alyx Vance is (but it’s only partway through).
In the end, Alyx Vance will be more important than Gordon Freeman to the narrative future of Half-Life. Her story provides signposts to what could happen next (like the death of Eli or even Gordon, Alyx being betrayed, confrontation with the G-Man). Gordon will still be very important of course.
Alyx shows how Valve has built on character progression over its games from Dr Kleiner to Eli to GLaDOS to Alyx.
Alyx is a strong example of environmental storytelling but Valve seems to be relying less on that over time.
I had a bunch of presumptuous thoughts picking into what’s interesting in the wider Half-Life story. Example: is the G-Man as a god (or, what Rick and Morty shines on Half-Life: Alyx). Also, some ideas for improvement/elaboration.
I have some plausible suggestions for where the Half-Life story could (will?) go next.

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Hello

I’ve been thinking for a while now, well over a year, about writing a blog again. The first one, which started me in the games industry, was/is www.gamerlaw.co.uk (it’s not maintained, it’s horrible but it still exists), on the subject of games law and business.

Context for those who don’t know me: I work in the games and tech industries, my background is as a lawyer, though these days I do as much business/finance/operations stuff for games businesses as law if not more.

This is going to be a blog to explore other things that interest me. I want to learn more about games, story and creativity. To think about why I enjoy (or don’t) creative works, to get back to some of the stuff I used to do when I was younger, but apply what I’ve learned since and will learn from this blog. Occasionally that will shade into business stuff no doubt. Not law/politics/policy here. I will no doubt do things badly, but I hope to learn from it. All feedback gratefully received (I’m not bothering with comments or email etc – people who know me can reach me, everyone else can try Twitter).